When my older children were young I worked so diligently to not yell. As a single mother I was overwhelmed almost all the time, but did not want that to become an excuse for a lost temper.
I grew up in a home where yelling seemed like a normal way to communicate, so I promised myself I would never set that precedent in my home. And I would have to say that for most of my children’s early years I did not yell nearly as much as I wanted to! I remember someone mentioning how impressed they were by the patience I showed with my little ones.
Those children are now 11, 9, and 7. My patience isn’t as captivating as it once was, and I blame weariness and my flesh for not wanting to yield to the needs of my ever-changing children.
We also have a two-year-old who pushes me to the ever-loving-edge of my weary patience almost daily. She is dropping naps, demanding to do things on her own, and does not like the rules we set on her behalf. Being at home with her means I receive the brunt of her outbursts and lack of control.
She is two, after all. I know this phase will pass, but that comforting thought doesn’t make it any easier when she’s screaming in my face while reaching her hand back to smack me on the cheek.
Have you been there? When your child has completely lost her mind and you go ahead and lose yours too?
Too often I am finding myself at war with this little human who sucks the life out of me and then turns around and lays kisses all over my hand.
Too often I am wishing for time to pass faster so I don’t have to put up with this behavior.
Too often I am looking at this season with my baby girl as one of survival instead of enjoyment.
Too often I let my flesh take over and wonder why this is happening to me.
Ouch. When I read my own words I sound like a bit of a two-year-old too.
When we struggle with our flesh it’s easy to get lost in the forest instead of looking through the trees. We want our kids to behave all the time so we can stay in control. It’s our human nature fighting against the Spirit inside us.
Instead of wrestling with the notion of control, why don’t we lay our self-consumed souls down at the foot of the cross?
God daily bears our burdens, so why do we hold onto them so tightly? We lose our tempers when we should be loosening the binding around our hearts. Let’s bring our tempers to the One who can foster patience, cultivate kindness, and lead us to freedom from being control-freak-mom.
Here’s a prayer for the mom who loses her temper
My Heavenly Father,
I have been losing my temper more and more lately.
Often I feel out of control and lost in how I mother.
I want to love my kids well,
not the type to yell and scream.
Please, Lord, teach me how to love like you.
How to have patience with my children and show them
what a Christ-like mom can be.
I want to foster more patience and kindness for my children,
teaching them that yelling is not the answer to conflict.
When I am weak step in and be strong, holding me to my
calling as mom and my belief in you.
Thank you for gifting me with my children.
May I continue to love them without anger.
In Jesus’ Name,
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